Christina contemplates going home

Throughout this entire semester, we’ve focused on race and gender in Marita’s class. During our studies we have learned about a lot of stereotypes and gender norms especially. Women normally do this while men do that. It’s been going on for generations and has become normalized on many levels. For example, in my own experiences, men usually pop the question and propose to their significant others. One might say it’s even tradition, yet I’m not even quite sure how or when it originated. But just the other day at work I experienced someone defying that gender norm. A girlfriend of a co-worker of mine comes in occasionally to volunteer at the aquarium. One day when she came in, we got the opportunity to join the collections team out on the boat while they were busy collecting kelp. During the time the divers were underwater we got to chatting about her relationship. They have been together for two years now and the matter of marriage has popped up a few times. He wants to wait a few years, but knows he wants to ask her. Her mentality on the other hand is that neither of them are getting younger, she’s 29 and he’s 33, so she wants to ask the question herself. Apparently there is a tradition regarding leap year that allows a woman to ask a man. This was unheard of by me so I did a little research.  According to old Irish history or tradition, believe what you may, St Brigid struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men every four years. The reasoning behind the myth is that it came into place to balance the traditional roles of men and women in a similar way to how Leap Day balances the calendar. To be honest this woman seems like she would ask him to marry her even if this tradition didn’t exist, but I found it very interesting and empowering that she was planning on doing it. She has everything planned out including the proposal happening at the aquarium and although I enjoyed hearing about it because I am a helpless romantic, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by how confident and excited she was to make such a big move that is traditionally a man’s role in society.

Another thing we’ve focused on this week has been the reality of going home so soon. It’s crazy to think that 3 ½ months have gone by. I also have been dealing with how I feel about it all. I have very mixed emotions in a sense that at times I feel ready and okay to go home because I have accomplished so much and have seen and experienced more than I could ever imagine. But then I’ll have a really good day at work or something will just make me so happy like the mountains or looking at the ocean and then I’ll get an overwhelming feeling of sadness and nostalgia about leaving this place that I have grown to love so much. Cape Town is my home. I can officially say that I have lived somewhere else other than Brookfield, CT. And at moments that realization alone is enough to terrify me to leave. Going home will certainly be a process, and adjusting back to life will be an even bigger one that I am not looking forward to. There are many challenges I am anticipating on facing when I get home. How I deal and handle those challenges are something I can think of and prepare myself for now. But how I react for sure is a mystery until the time comes. Until that time though I am going to enjoy every last minute here in my beautiful city of Cape Town.