I found that my transition back to
the US has been both easier and harder than I expected. I think it was really
helpful for me to stay an extra week and have that time to say goodbye to all
the places in Cape Town that I’ll miss. Having my dad visit was also a good
thing, because I have someone who understands at least a little of my
experience. I think if I didn’t have that I might feel isolated among my family
and friends, because no one would have any real idea of what I saw and did in
the past four months. Watching my dad as he experienced Cape Town for the first
time also helped me keep my experiences in perspective. After several months I
had become pretty used to the way things work there, but seeing his excitement
and confusion over the minibus taxis made me realize not only how different
Cape Town is from Connecticut but also how much I’ve grown and adapted in the
past semester. It was fun to share the places I’ve been and be the expert when
it came to getting us around the city.
Landing at JFK and driving home was
strange, though - I was struck by how big the houses are and how nice my
family’s car is. I also kept trying to get in the wrong side of the car! Then I
got a surprise when I opened my closet at home, because I had forgotten I had
so many clothes. I found myself appreciating little things like that a lot
more. My first few days back felt like a hazy dream where everything was
familiar but something was different. However, I think my real experience of
re-entry culture shock was when I went grocery shopping with my family. I was
overwhelmed by how huge everything was and wandered around the store kind of
dazed for a while (although jet lag might have contributed to that). In
addition to these unexpected experiences, I also have encountered challenges
that I was anticipating. Most notable of these is the struggle to come up with
an adequate answer when someone asks “How was South Africa?” I’ve found that
for most people, a simple “Great!” is all they really want to hear. It’s been
harder with my friends, who do actually want to know some details but aren’t
necessarily interested in my complete analysis of everything I learned and saw.
I was surprised that some of the people I expected to be the least interested
were actually quite curious, and vice versa. I’m really trying not to be the
annoying friend who won’t stop talking about her study abroad experience, and I
think I’m doing a surprisingly good job at it. However, this also makes me
nervous because I don’t want to lose the lessons I learned in Cape Town.
Sometimes I have a hard time believing that I actually went to South Africa,
because now I’m so geographically far from it. I do plan to return some day- I
think it made a big enough impact on me that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself
from going back. I found it funny that by the end of just one semester I had
developed such a strong connection to Cape Town- I felt like I had a vested
interest and maybe even a small sense of responsibility for things that happen
there. It made me realize that maybe I should be more invested in what happens
in my own community here in Connecticut, and on a national scale.
I think my biggest worry now that
I’m home is that I’ll slip back into my old self and forget what I learned in
Cape Town. It’s been surprisingly easy to fit back into my life here, and I’m
not sure if that’s a good or bad thing yet (probably both). However, as I
interact with my friends and family I have noticed that I’m a little braver, a
little more compassionate, and a lot more honest than I was before going to
Cape Town. The other day one of my friends told me that after the first time we
hung out they could tell that I was “a new Caitlin”. The funny thing is, I
didn’t think I was acting any differently than before! This makes me hopeful
that I’ll be able to sustain the changes I’ve experienced into the
future.
