It’s taken me a lot of
time to decipher my journey in Cape Town. I feel like Dorothy from the Wizard
of Oz who was swept up into a land of vibrant colors and adventure. Then
suddenly my journey is over and I’m back in the land of black and white.
Everything suddenly feels…flat. As much as I wanted to thrill seeking
activities, it was never my original intention when visiting South Africa. It
was always meant to be life transforming for me physically, mentally and
spiritually. Even if I did skydiving or shark cage diving, my experience would
be just as fulfilling if I didn’t do those things.
I don’t come from a
suburban area, I live in Bridgeport, CT--one of CT’s most distressed cities. My
neighborhood isn’t exactly safe. Drug dealings are common on my street; oddly
it’s happened right outside my doorway. In general, there have been numerous
murders in Bridgeport since the beginning of this year. I’m used to being on my
toes, and it was a habit I brought with me to Cape Town. It seemed as though
many of my housemates were uncomfortable with constantly being aware of their
surroundings for their safety. Because of that, some couldn’t wait to return
home--to return to safety. I wish I could have said the same. I’m not sad about
it; it is just the way things are. For the first time in my entire life, I felt
like I was living the life of luxury in Cape Town. My money stretched far so I
was able to do things I wouldn’t normally do at home. I lived in a beautiful
house in a beautiful neighborhood. Every day I woke up to mountains, palm trees
and the fresh breeze. Here in at home
the area is stale and I feel claustrophobic. Sometimes, South Africa feels like
a distant dream.
Because we were all told
what coming home will be like for us, I expected my family and friends to not
understand the entirety of my experience. So I didn’t dive into too much detail
when it came to certain topics because I knew it was something they all had to
witness themselves. Then graduation day came and I wasn’t that excited for it.
I arrived to the UConn campus and I felt disconnected. I realized I said
goodbye to this place a long time ago. The ceremony wasn’t what I expected to
be either, very impersonal in my opinion. However, what made it worthwhile was
sitting next to a good friend of mine and discussing my study abroad experience
and personal transfiguration. On my way home I went to a nearby Walgreens to
pick up a few things; meanwhile, I’m still wearing my cap and gown with my
South African sash. When I approached the register, two young women caught my
attention. One of them asked me “Are you from South Africa?” “No,” I said, “But
I lived there for awhile and I just came back a week ago.” The woman beamed
with happiness and said she and her friend were South African. She asked all
about my stay there and appreciated how much I loved the country. Then she
said, “Next time you visit, go to Durban! That’s where I’m from!” I had never
been so happy to meet two strangers, but at the same time they weren’t. They
were extremely friendly and for a few moments I felt like I was taken right
back in South Africa.
My view of the United
States has deteriorated as more events of social injustice continue to occur.
I’ve never felt like a true American, and I feel like people who look like me
never will be treated as such especially when no one protects their right to life
and liberty. As much as I want to abandon this place, I have an obligation to
make some type of impact to turn things around in this country.
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| Emily on Graduation Day |
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