Onna still missing Cape Town

As a long overdue response, I am still missing Cape Town everyday. I miss the energy, the horns of the minibus, the constant opportunity that a city holds. Coming home was strange at first, everything was so familiar. As much as I wanted to arrive in the US with things being different, new people to meet in my small hometown, and all that jazz- I was painfully disappointed when I got to JFK and everything seemed the exact same. Coming back to Southbury, everything was the exact same- with the exception of the construction of a new ugly movie theater. Things are the same, but I am not the same.

I found the questions of “How was Africa?” to be pressing and quite annoying to be honest. I didn’t feel like explaining how I think I changed because it made my desire to return even stronger. I realized that when asked what my favorite part of my experience was, I changed my answer each time. Many people seemed to be quite disappointed when I told them that one of the best parts of Cape Town was the classes that I took.

With that being said, I have managed to have myself quite the adventurous summer- traveling to Montreal, Block Island, California & Philadelphia to visit friends that I hadn’t seen for months. It was nice to reunite, pleasing to know that many of my friends are on the same page as I am regarding social change, education & equality. Although I have become quite bitter to some of the insensitive side comments that I have experienced in meeting new people this summer.

I’m trying not to let my 4 months in Cape Town seem like a dream. I found myself upset some days… it took hours for me to pinpoint the reason that I felt this empty feeling. Then I realized the answer was easy; I miss South Africa, hard.

With that being said, I’m ready to take on a new adventure… possibly to South East Asia or South America after I graduate in May. But I can’t forget to enjoy the present time. I landed a position as a public affairs intern for the UConn radio station (WHUS) that I am quite excited about- I will be exploring activism and social issues at UConn (and might even be able to score my own talk show!!!!). I have mixed emotions with returning to the student body of UConn but I am trying to stay positive, I hope people respond as warmly as Capetonians did when I struck up a conversation while walking to work. I’m also excited to become more active in new groups & events at UConn, I am going to continue the concept of constantly trying new things. Although I cannot lie, I am absolutely thrilled to return to an environment with my co-educators to talk about how we feel, what we’ve learned, and further reflections on our Cape Town experience now that we have returned to the US. 

Onna thankful for the realization that the adventure doesn't stop here

Life moves too fast when you least want it to. Yes, here I am talking about time once again. I need to stop denying the fact that I will be leaving Loch Road on Thursday morning. I am thrilled that I have the opportunity to extend my trip for 10 days but I can’t help but think that it isn’t enough time.

To put it lightly, I’ve fallen in love with this place. Cape Town has exposed me to new worlds of opportunity. It has reconfirmed my hope in humanity. I have learned that the love you can give and take is limitless. I have learned that action speaks volumes over words. I have learned to look within myself and celebrate the fact that I make mistakes and still have so much to learn. I have learned to think twice about judging another as they might have problems that we can’t even wrap our mind around.

My last week here has been relaxing but enjoyable. On Sunday night Emily L, Julia & I attended a production called Artsemble. Andrea, the social worker at Elonwabeni that we have grown quite close to was one of the MCs for the night and introduced the many different acts; a choir, comedian, dancers, bands, poets and rappers. Each performance was absolutely incredible and reminded me of the incredible capacity of humans. I thought it was impossible, but I have grown to appreciate the world of art even more since coming here.

Last night we grabbed dinner with Andrea one last time. She asked us what the highlight of our trip was… trying to narrow every single experience into one was overwhelming and it made me think about how I am going to emulate this experience to my loved ones when I return. I want them to hear the street music, feel the love of complete strangers, see the light beams above Table Mountain as the sun saluted to us every evening, taste the spice of the curries. I want everyone to feel what I have felt because I have never felt so thankful to be alive.

I’m worried that people won’t understand this transformational experience or the things that I have come to believe in. Andrea understood our concerns about going back and told us that we must keep ourselves busy when we return home for the summer. She told us that it is going to be easy to get lost in the memories of being here. It’ll be easy to sulk and become unmotivated when comparing South Africa to the United States. A place can never be compared to another. She advised that we keep ourselves busy this summer and let the memories continue. She also suggested that when we do long for those memories, that we surround ourselves with people that we shared these memories with. My level of discomfort decreased after she said those words and I remembered that I would have the pleasure of meeting with these 17 incredible individuals that contributed to making this experience the best 4 months of my life.

These thoughts bring me back to a sign outside of one of the food trucks at the music festival that we attended in March. It read: ‘I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.’ We all have the capacity to fill our minds, hearts and souls with new experiences everyday. The adventure doesn’t stop here. 

Onna's incredible trip to Jo'burg

Our spring break excursion to Johannesburg was a true rollercoaster of emotions. We visited many powerful historic locations such as the Apartheid Museum, the Hector Pieterson Memorial, Constitution Hill and the Sharpeville Exhibition Centre.

I really enjoyed all of these museums because they included many real life anecdotes from people who were directly involved in the many uprisings caused by apartheid. The day that really caught my emotions was when we visited Sharpeville, the place of the massacre on March 21, 1960 where over 69 people were shot dead because of their protest of the passbooks. The memorial was on the exact grounds of where the people who died in massacre fell. There was a podium representing each person, ranging from 12 to 60 years old. After we visited the graveyard, where those bodies peacefully rest. For the majority of my time here and the stories I have heard, apartheid always seemed to be so awful that it was unimaginable that this could have taken place and stole the lives of so many innocent people. However this trip to Sharpeville really solidified the fact that this is all so real. The grief I felt in my bones was something I have never felt before. I felt heavy with pain and sorrow for the families who will have to deal with this pain for the years to come. I returned to the bus and sat in my seat alone, at a loss for words. How can someone have the willpower to shoot one person, let alone 69 harmless people? I was left with such sorrow and it was then that I realized that this was one of the most powerful days for me in South Africa thus far.  

Onna (in red) and classmates listen in horror to story of Sharpeville

Alice recalls the events of the Sharpeville Massacre,  21 March 1960

Onna & Emily L working in garden at Boys & Girls Club

We also spent one of our days in Johannesburg at the Boys & Girls Club in Soweto; the largest township in South Africa. We were greeted by lots of smiling faces and before we could even put our bags down we were being pulled in multiple directions. The first half of the day we spent doing necessary work around the club such as picking up litter, wiping down tables & chairs, fixing up the garden. The second half of the day we were left to play with the young people. Many of the girls flocked to the other girls and asked us to sit down so they could play with our hair. I heard their ‘ooohs’ and ‘wows’ while they took my hair down from my ponytail. They spent most of my time just feeling my hair rather than creating hairstyles. I was confused at first but then realized that it was the smoothness of my hair that amazed them so much. I thought of the shampoo ads that stress on ‘silky smooth locks’ as a means of beauty. This made me curse the power of advertisements and the definition that they create of what is ‘beautiful’. What happened to celebrating yourself? After these thoughts I asked the girls if I could play with their beautiful hair, they look surprised but let out shy smiles. My time at the Boy & Girls club truly made me evaluate my own ideas of beauty and how outside forces have influenced them. I will no longer allow myself to be pressed into thinking that the airbrushed celebrities in magazines are the definition of beauty. Beauty should not be held under one definition.

Although our trip to Joburg was incredible, I was surprised of how excited I was to return to our big ol' home in Cape Town. I missed my walks through the Commons and the constant views of Table Mountain. This place is my happiness. Not looking forward to leaving my new home in less than a month. 

Onna on the power of nature and art

I haven’t written about the lovely time Emily & I had at Elonwabeni Child and Family Centre 2 weeks ago! We spent 2 days there so far- first was gardening and the next was painting.

On our first day, we came in strapped with soil, compost, gardening tools, seeds and flowers to make the first ever garden Elonwabeni has ever seen. We worked with the younger kids (5-8 yrs) and they must have had 5 times the excitement I did (and I was nearly exploding!!). First, each of the children took turns raking and putting down new soil for the garden area. After the children lined up to plant their own seeds. We made rows of carrots, green beans, beetroot and another row of flowers. One of the cutest things was whenever a child would plant a seed into the soil they sealed it with a kiss. We also planted some bloomed marigolds so the children saw a bit of beauty within the garden and hope for their flowers to bloom within a few weeks! They were so enthusiastic about everything they did, what a treat it was to get our hands in the Earth with them.

On our way back to our house that afternoon we were told that the majority of the children that we worked with that day were victims of sexual abuse. That comment made my heart sore with thoughts of the things they have been through at such a young age. An age that should normally be filled with laughing, playing on a playground, learning how to read and expressing creativity. I was put in a confusing yet hopeful place that these children were still so loving and gentle; filled with excitement and enthusiasm. Although I am aware they might not have days such as our garden day everyday- I am hopeful that it will give them something to look forward to. Hopefully we will be able to see some results before we head back to the US!

For our next day at Elonwabeni we worked with about 10 older teens. Their eyes bulged with excitement when they discovered that these paint & brushes were theirs to keep and use whenever they felt a burst of creativity! Many of the kids drew their names, Table Mountain, or references to happiness, love & God. Surprisingly there was only one young man who joined us that day. He was so slow and methodical on his canvas, carefully sketching with a pencil before proceeding to acrylics. He wasn’t finished by the time we were cleaning up and asked if he could keep the paints out. After reminding him that they were his to keep, he showed me his canvas and said, “It’s life, you know?” I examined the painting that showed a serious of 4 flowers. The first flower stood tall and blooming, while the next one started to wilt. The next flower slowly started to re-bloom leaving the next flower again in full bloom, showing that our problems do not define ourselves and that we always come out stronger in any situation that we face in life. This simple painting reminded me of why I came to Cape Town in the first place, to find and be the light in the most damaged situations. I was filled with a sense of honor and appreciation to have brought these paints in with my lovely co-educator, Emily. The power of art expression continues to amaze me. 

Onna's reflections on time

Last week Marita assigned us an exercise where we were to reflect on our personal and work values in life. She also assigned various articles focused around multitasking and American values. At home I feel distracted by everything- what assignment I have to do next, who I have to text back, what my plans are this weekend, what classes I have to take to graduate, what I am even going to DO after I graduate? There is this incredible stress on time that I find myself worrying about so much that I don't even realize I'm worrying about it. I recognized that throughout my college years I have placed so much emphasis on what has to get done than actually enjoying the process of completing something.

However after reading the articles, I have learned that time is not just something that I worry about, it is a value that is of the upmost importance in American society. While this could be seen as an awesome thing if you are thinking in terms of productivity, at the same time it could also distract us from opportunities such as developing a new relationship, recognizing how beautiful that rhododendron bush outside your house looks with the sun hitting it, or how pleasant your cashier at Stop & Shop was. 

Cape Town has definitely given me a break with this whole time thing, by living on that sweet, sweet African time (where time is an extremely flexible and relaxed concept... expect things to be done at least 15 minutes after it is supposed to be done). I have taken the time to stop and chat with the homeless people outside my work everyday, to draw in my sketchbook, to write a little poem, to stop and buy flowers from the woman on the corner, to chat with the person next to me while in line for food. And I am not allowing time to consume my thoughts. After all, worrying is only planning for a negative future, right?

I also questioned from the list I created of things that I value (positivity, thankfulness, creativity, equality, openness, community.. just to name a few), how often am I acting on these? This weekend 12 of us went to a small music festival "The Flamjangled Tea Party" outside of Cape Town on a beautiful farm called Elandskloof. On Saturday Caitlin, Dani & I discovered this beautiful stream (a scene that could EASILY be in a fairytale) while we were exploring the grounds. Luckily I packed my watercolors, so we each took a seat and painted the beautiful landscape while conversing about our thoughts and feelings about our trip in South Africa thus far and what we have learned. It was extremely refreshing to not have anywhere to be but the present- to not worry about planning skydiving, scuba diving, or hiking trips. I've always been a firm believer of always living in the present, but at times in our society it almost too easy to become distracted. 

Although deciding my top 10 values for Marita's assignment was a bit difficult (I could write a list of 1000 things if you'd let me) I am super thankful that she gave us this assignment to complete because it has grounded me and reminded me what I truly place close to my heart in a world full of direction and distractions. 

Onna's extending her stay and learning through listening

It’s official…. I’m extending my trip here in Cape Town!!! I will be staying an extra 10 days after the program to attend AfrikaBurn (a week long community festival in the Karoo desert with participants who come together to create art, music and meaningful interactions) and to also relax before my visa expires (eeeeek, still in denial about that....). I am overflowing with excitement at this opportunity to stay longer. I’ve said this before, but things can get pretty hectic here at times trying to soak in and make the most of each experience here. It will definitely be nice to have some extra relaxation time to reflect on this transformational experience.

I’m realizing that I have become more of a listener since arriving here. Usually I am quite the talker… I was always the one who got ‘socializes during class time’ on report cards. But now I find myself stepping back to listen closer to each conversation that I have while here. With many taxi rides I’m learning about the extremely difficult times of the people who fled from Zimbabwe because of the economic crisis. I’m learning about the ongoing discrimination here and the problems that vary from individual to individual. I’m listening more because each conversation is bringing me to a broader sense of this country and more broadly, our world.

However with listening, talking becomes more difficult. It gets uncomfortable when we sit around at our Monday meetings and the staff asks me what I did this weekend. Either I went scuba diving, skydiving, or danced my butt off at a Kirstenbosch concert. I know that many of my coworkers will not have the chance to experience these things in their own city; many haven’t even been to the top of Table Mountain. This gap of opportunity is something that my coworkers aren’t ashamed of expressing, but often times I am left feeling guilty. It’s interesting to observe that people here are fine with admitting what they do not have, while in the U.S. we try to hide what we think are 'faults' as much as possible.

 

Onna's flying high

Onna can't imagine living anywhere but here

I don’t want to think about going home right now. Not that I don’t miss the US, my friends and family… but I am starting to feel so comfortable here that I can’t imagine living somewhere else. Be it the woman selling flowers on the corner, the men who bead on the street, or the homeless people outside of Molo who always greet me so politely on my way in to work, or simply waking up to the view of Table Mountain… these people and places have become something that I look forward to seeing everyday.

Some of my coworkers ask me, “don’t you ever get homesick?” I often respond with a no. I don’t think I am homesick because I am constantly surrounded by people that make me feel so at home. I am so thrilled that my parents will be coming to visit in April so they can see what this experience really means to me.

On another note, I was back at Parliament this week (very exciting as always). Teenagers from various townships that are associated with Molo Songololo were invited to share their opinion on the Sexual Offences Amendment Act, which at the moment criminalizes teenagers who engage in consensual sex. It was so much fun working with the kids and hearing their own opinions. They are so eager to represent a voice for the many young people in South Africa… these kids never fail to inspire me.  

Patrick & Onna with young people at MoloSongolo

Outside of Parliament

Also, things are getting started for my activist project! My co-educator Emily & I decided to work with an orphanage located in the township of Mitchell’s Plain called Elonwabeni. We decided to rasie money to make a garden and teach the young people the methods & benefits of gardening. Also, we’re continuing a project that last years group started in creating a teenage hangout room. We are planning on getting string lights, pillows, and canvases for the young people to let their creativity go wild. I cannot wait to meet these children!

To read more about it or to donate to our activist project click here: www.gofundme.com/uconnatelonwabeni