Caitlin hopeful she'll be able to sustain the changes made in Cape Town

I found that my transition back to the US has been both easier and harder than I expected. I think it was really helpful for me to stay an extra week and have that time to say goodbye to all the places in Cape Town that I’ll miss. Having my dad visit was also a good thing, because I have someone who understands at least a little of my experience. I think if I didn’t have that I might feel isolated among my family and friends, because no one would have any real idea of what I saw and did in the past four months. Watching my dad as he experienced Cape Town for the first time also helped me keep my experiences in perspective. After several months I had become pretty used to the way things work there, but seeing his excitement and confusion over the minibus taxis made me realize not only how different Cape Town is from Connecticut but also how much I’ve grown and adapted in the past semester. It was fun to share the places I’ve been and be the expert when it came to getting us around the city.

Landing at JFK and driving home was strange, though - I was struck by how big the houses are and how nice my family’s car is. I also kept trying to get in the wrong side of the car! Then I got a surprise when I opened my closet at home, because I had forgotten I had so many clothes. I found myself appreciating little things like that a lot more. My first few days back felt like a hazy dream where everything was familiar but something was different. However, I think my real experience of re-entry culture shock was when I went grocery shopping with my family. I was overwhelmed by how huge everything was and wandered around the store kind of dazed for a while (although jet lag might have contributed to that). In addition to these unexpected experiences, I also have encountered challenges that I was anticipating. Most notable of these is the struggle to come up with an adequate answer when someone asks “How was South Africa?” I’ve found that for most people, a simple “Great!” is all they really want to hear. It’s been harder with my friends, who do actually want to know some details but aren’t necessarily interested in my complete analysis of everything I learned and saw. I was surprised that some of the people I expected to be the least interested were actually quite curious, and vice versa. I’m really trying not to be the annoying friend who won’t stop talking about her study abroad experience, and I think I’m doing a surprisingly good job at it. However, this also makes me nervous because I don’t want to lose the lessons I learned in Cape Town. Sometimes I have a hard time believing that I actually went to South Africa, because now I’m so geographically far from it. I do plan to return some day- I think it made a big enough impact on me that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from going back. I found it funny that by the end of just one semester I had developed such a strong connection to Cape Town- I felt like I had a vested interest and maybe even a small sense of responsibility for things that happen there. It made me realize that maybe I should be more invested in what happens in my own community here in Connecticut, and on a national scale.

I think my biggest worry now that I’m home is that I’ll slip back into my old self and forget what I learned in Cape Town. It’s been surprisingly easy to fit back into my life here, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing yet (probably both). However, as I interact with my friends and family I have noticed that I’m a little braver, a little more compassionate, and a lot more honest than I was before going to Cape Town. The other day one of my friends told me that after the first time we hung out they could tell that I was “a new Caitlin”. The funny thing is, I didn’t think I was acting any differently than before! This makes me hopeful that I’ll be able to sustain the changes I’ve experienced into the future. 

Caitlin reflects on her excursion experiences

I found excursion to be both informative and fun. I was particularly impressed by the Hector Pieterson Museum, which gave me an insider’s perspective on the Soweto uprising, an event which I had previously known very little about. I was especially struck by the recollections of Hector’s older sister, who was with him when he was killed in the protest. Reading her memories of that day and how she felt seeing her thirteen-year-old brother killed on the street made me think of my own brother, who is also thirteen, and how traumatizing that experience must have been. I found this part of the museum to be extremely powerful and I had a hard time containing my emotion. I also was inspired by how the schoolchildren in Soweto took matters into their own hands and organized the uprising among themselves, with little to no adult input. It made me wonder if kids today would be so motivated and courageous enough to take a stand on an issue like that. I know in middle school there were plenty of kids in my class who talked about fighting the system for various reasons, but no one ever did anything substantial. It makes me wonder if “social media activism” might be taking the place of traditional methods of protest and organization. However, it is possible that if kids today were exposed to the same injustices as the Soweto schoolchildren they might be equally outraged and willing to take action. I also found it interesting how different the Hector Pieterson Museum was from the Sharpeville Exhibition Centre. I was surprised that the Sharpeville memorial seemed like it had been forgotten by the world and was only being maintained by a few devoted community members. It was strange that such a significant historical site would be so neglected by tourists and South Africans alike. However, the personal stories we heard at the Sharpeville memorial and the dedication of the people working there made the experience meaningful for us.

The time we spent at the Soweto Boys and Girls Club was a lot of fun, and gave a human face to the city of Johannesburg. Dani and I were instructed by several of the girls in some elaborate song and dance routines, and they also taught us some clapping games. We exchanged skills when they taught us to cha-cha and we taught them to waltz, which they had never done before and were really excited about. It almost made me feel like I was back doing ballroom dance in Ocean View! I’m always amazed at how trusting kids are and how quickly they’ll be your friends. I wish adults were as open and friendly as kids are- I feel like it would be a much simpler world. I also really liked the programs that the Boys and Girls club had for the kids, like the homework program that some of them participate in. It made me want to get involved with a Boys and Girls Club back home, or some kind of similar organization.

Finally, our time in Kruger National Park was amazing- I had to pinch myself because I couldn’t believe that it was really happening! Thinking back, I never would have imagined that at the age of nineteen I would be in Africa getting up close with lions and elephants. It was so cool to be surrounded by untouched natural landscape, watching the sun rise and set and seeing all the different animals living their lives in the wild. I felt so lucky to have the opportunity to be there, especially since so many people who live here in South Africa aren’t able to visit Kruger.

Caitlin (in green) and crew on Game Drive at Kruger National Park

Overall I really enjoyed excursion, although it was nice to come home and see Table Mountain again! I’m really glad I was able to see a different part of South Africa and experience more of the country while learning about its history and having a good time.

Caitlin expanding thoughts on privilege from academic to daily practices

Bernie, Christina, Julia,
Caitlin, Ashlyn, Emily L

I haven’t written a blog post in a little while, so I’m going to have to do a bit of catching up! A few weeks ago I ran the Two Oceans Half Marathon here in Cape Town. It was my first half marathon and I was really proud of myself for completing it. Six of us ran it in total, but only three of us were registered. Bernie, Christina, and I hadn’t been able to register in time, but we figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to blend in with everyone else and just run for fun. However, when we got there the security guards wouldn’t let us come through the gate because we didn’t have bibs. We were able to get in by going up to another guard and pretending that we had left our bibs at home. Luckily for us, he took pity on us and waved us in. We were pretty excited- we hadn’t exactly expected it to work- but as I thought about it more, I started to wonder: would the guard have done the same thing if we hadn’t been young, white, foreign girls? It’s easy to talk about privilege in very broad academic terms, but we don’t often think about what it looks like on a daily basis. I began to think about other experiences where my race and gender might have benefited me. I realized that not only do people generally trust me, but I’ve also definitely used the “dumb white girl act” a lot since I’ve been here, mostly to get out of answering uncomfortable questions that people might ask me. It’s impossible to know what the guard was really thinking when he let us into the race, but I would have been interested to see how he might have reacted if different people had told him the same story.  

Emily, Ashlyn, Caitlin, Christina, Bernie, Julia
having just run the Two Oceans Half Marathon

Caitlin finding hope from people fighting for their rights

On World TB Day (March 24) I attended a march sponsored by TAC and a handful of other South African NGOs. We were marching to demand better access to treatment for people with TB (tuberculosis), including multi-drug resistant TB (MDR) and extreme resistant TB (XDR). Before coming to TAC I never really understood what TB was, because it’s not something people really worry about in the US. I knew that before travelling abroad I was required to get a TB test done, but other than that I had never given the disease a second thought. However, last month I attended a meeting with TAC and MSF where I learned about TB from a medical perspective, and yesterday I learned more about it from a global health perspective. I was shocked to realize that TB is the leading cause of death in South Africa, with thousands dying every year. It’s also a completely preventable and treatable disease. At the march, which was attended by several thousand people, we stood in front of the parliament and heard speeches from leaders of various organizations as well as testimony from TB survivors. I was shocked when one of the leaders declared that “If our demands for better treatment for poor people are not met, we know that most of us standing here will die.” Before, I had really felt a part of the group, despite the fact that I was one of about five white people in the whole march. I had still been singing and dancing and holding my sign with everyone else, and I could almost pretend that I was a part of this community. But when the speaker said that I was struck by how different my life really is from the people who were standing next to me. This was a disease I had barely even heard of at home, and here was someone addressing this huge crowd and matter-of-factly telling them that this was going to be the cause of their deaths.  That was when I realized the reason I was standing there, aside from the fact that TAC had brought me along. It’s fine to be told about inequality of healthcare services and how the rich always get better treatment than the poor, but I never really absorbed it until I understood that my luck of being born into privilege in the US had completely shielded me from even having to know the name of this disease which poses a constant struggle to people in the townships and across the world every day. After someone from the government signed our memorandum and the crowd began to disperse, I asked someone with me if they thought our march was going to make a difference. He said it was a good question and that he really didn’t know. It made me think about how hard it must be to spend every day working for these goals, planning events, and not knowing if what you do will make an immediate difference. However, it gives me hope that people still fight for their right to healthcare and persevere instead of giving up.  

Cailtin confronting privilege in the face of such inequality

Caitlin & friends enjoy a day of sandboarding

Recently we've been doing a lot of fun things on the weekends, such as skydiving, sand boarding, hikes, and shopping. While it has been really fun (and exhausting!) I always feel a little uncomfortable telling people at my internship about these things on Monday mornings when they ask me how my weekend was. I'm well aware that most people in Cape Town can't afford to spend money on these kinds of leisure activities. Even hiking requires money for transportation, and we usually take cabs. I know that on the weekends I'm experiencing a very different side of Cape Town than the people I work with. It can be a weird transition to go from a work mindset to a vacation mindset in the same week! I've been trying not to feel too guilty because I still want to enjoy my time here while I learn. However, sometimes the difference in privilege and the unfairness of it hits me all at once, and it can be a paralyzing feeling. It's also weird to think that I never really worried too much about this stuff at home- I knew I had privilege and that inequality existed, but it wasn't constantly in my head and outside my window every day. That's why I'm excited to complete my documentary for my activist project and bring it back to show people in the US. I think it's important for other people to experience these same realizations and start thinking about themselves in a global context. Even though I won't be able to give people back home the full experience of being here, if I can give them a taste of what it's like and get them thinking about it, then I will have succeeded. 

The sandy "streets" of Khayelitsha near where Caitlin interns at Treatment Action Campaign.

Caitlin's getting a reality check and learning to relax

As I've settled more into life here I've become more used to “South African time” and with that has come the realization of just how hectic life is in the US. When I first got here the pace of life really bothered me- I’m a very busy person to begin with, and I get anxious if I’m not constantly doing things. Despite the fact that I’m often late for things in my personal life, the constant lateness of everyone else, even in academic and work settings, was something I had to adjust to! I’m also used to over scheduling myself at school, so I’m always trying to multitask and maximize every minute of my day. While I’m still a little hyperactive, being in Cape Town has calmed me down a bit and reminded me to enjoy life instead of worrying about being productive all the time. In the US, at least in the circles I’ve traveled in, there’s also a lot of emphasis placed on “success”- on winning, being the best, doing the most, and being recognized for it. There’s a lot of focus on prestige, money, and academic achievements. This could be just because I’m still in school and have never been in the “real world” before, but I think part of it is also the competitive culture in the States. I think Cape Town has given me a reality check in that regard, by exposing me to a lot of people who wouldn’t be considered “successful” by those standards but who are nonetheless positive, engaged citizens making a difference in their communities. It’s a reminder to me to check my judgments and resist stereotyping people based on their situations. And to relax!

Caitlin's conversations highlight how much she never learned about the world

One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being here in Cape Town is the conversations I get to have with ordinary people every day. I’ve become good friends with the bus driver who brings me to work, and he loves to talk about whatever’s going on in Cape Town and even in the world. Today he asked what I was studying, and when I mentioned politics he was ready to talk all about US politics with me. He started asking me if I liked the Democrats or Republicans, who did I think was going to run for president next, and whatever happened to Al Gore! I realized I had no idea about South Africa’s politics before I decided to come on this program, and even now my knowledge is nowhere near as extensive as his knowledge of the US. It’s amazing to me how the rest of the world is so attuned to what goes on in the States, but Americans are so ignorant of anything that happens abroad. In fact, a few days ago I was reading The Economist and I noticed that the US had its own section, while the Middle East and Africa shared a section. Just for fun I decided to count the number of pages allotted to each: the US (one country) received 6 pages, while the Middle East and Africa (about 71 countries) received 4 pages. I didn’t really know what to make of this, to be honest. It made me think about the curriculum for history and world events that I went through at school- there were no classes on Africa, Asia, or South America at all, and our “World Civilizations” class was really European history. I’m embarrassed at how little I know, but I was never really aware of how much I didn’t know! Even general education requirements for college can be fulfilled without really being exposed to other cultures. It’s kind of scary that someone can graduate in this globalized world and not really know anything about most of it.

Table Mountain & Devil's Peak (view from bus during Caitlin's ride to her internship)

Caitlin appreciating the opportunities she's having

 I definitely have been having a busy few weeks here in Cape Town, especially this past weekend. On Saturday some of us hiked Table Mountain, an experience I'll never forget. We came up through Skeleton's Gorge, an intense hike which included stairs, ladders, and scrambling up wet rocks. It was challenging, but I was really proud of myself when we finished that part! As we got above the treeline we were rewarded with breathtaking views of Cape Town. I found myself thinking of all the people who live in Cape Town and have never been to Table Mountain, like some of the artists we met in Langa during orientation. I realized that I'm pretty lucky to be able to have the opportunity- the money, time, and physical fitness- to be able to experience natural wonders like that. Once we reached the top, it was another 3 hours to get across to the cable car. There were clouds hanging over the mountain and we were literally inside them! It was a little eerie because we were surrounded by mist and huge craggy rocks and it was dead silent for a while. It felt like we were on another planet!  We met a man in his 70s who told us that it was his 1,200th time climbing the mountain. He was the author of a book about wildflowers that we later saw in the gift shop, and he told us the names of the different plants along the trail. When we made it to the cable car the sky had begun to clear and there were more fantastic views. We took the car down, which took about 5 minutes, as compared to the two hours it had taken us to climb up! I would definitely love to hike Table Mountain again and maybe explore a different trail this time. 

Caitlin on making connections and realizing we can make a difference

I greatly enjoyed the Human Rights Weekend and the workshop we participated in. Not only did I learn a lot about human rights, but I was able to learn more about the world through the people I met and the connections I made there. I was vaguely familiar with human rights, but this weekend served as a good introduction for me and got me interested in learning more as I move forward. I was exposed to the core principles- how they are universal, inalienable, indivisible, interdependent and interrelated. I really wasn’t sure how to define what is and isn’t a human right, but I learned that the UN Declaration of Human Rights spells them out pretty thoroughly. I was actually surprised at how many human rights there are- for some reason I assumed there were only a handful, but I was happy to find that there are quite a lot. I guess since we see so many rights violated every day, especially socioeconomic rights, we don’t even realize that they’re human rights. I was especially interested to learn the differences between civil rights, political rights, and socioeconomic rights. I had never previously been able to articulate the differences between these terms which I hear so frequently.

 I also was especially fascinated by the activities we did concerning asylum seekers, refugees, and migrants. I had never known the legal definitions of these groups, and had used the terms interchangeably before. It was especially powerful to learn that some of the people I had made connections with over the weekend were refugees and had dealt with the situations we were learning about. When we were learning about migrants my roommate was quick to point out that I am currently a migrant, something I had never thought about before. When I heard the term migrant in the past I thought of migrant farm workers in the US, and I associated the word with impoverished people from South and Central America. It was eye-opening to realize that I myself fall into that category, as does anyone who travels to a different country for a short period of time. I liked how one of the women commented that not all refugees fit the stereotype of starving, rural people running from war- oftentimes refugees can be wealthy and educated. It was cool to have my perceptions challenged by the experiences of the people surrounding me.

However, I think the most important takeaway for me was the shift in perspective which occurred during the “New Planet” activity. I thought it was amazing that even when given completely free reign, everyone just recreated what they already knew. We worked inside the categories we’d been given and all took a defensive stance, focusing on differences rather than similarities, because that’s the world we live in. I related this to the story Vincent told about the Home Affairs officials who had the realization that their job is really to help people rather than be difficult. It also made me think of the Stanford prison experiment and the Essential Blue-Eyed video, when the facilitator declared that “People will lower themselves to your expectations.” I’m beginning to realize how important this concept is- that people are programmed to accommodate themselves to the standards and roles which are set for them. This is also why no one wanted to strike when we were doing the Applying for Asylum activity- even though we knew that in reality we could, that no harm would come to us, people were still trying to play by the rules and work within the system of the make-believe scenario. Throughout the whole weekend I had that Alice Walker quote running through my head: “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” I think for human rights on an individual level it’s important to first realize that we can make a difference, and that we have a responsibility to stop being a bystander and start acting. If we’re going to address human rights as a global community, we also need to take the approach that Vincent explained during the New Planet activity: to stop thinking competitively and start thinking collaboratively.

 This is why I think it was so important that we were able to make connections with people from all over Africa. They taught me a lot about their respective cultures, but in the end I was really struck by how, despite our cultural and socioeconomic differences, we really all had so much in common. It was surprisingly easy to talk to everyone about all sorts of things, not only human rights. We had all sorts of conversations about music, politics, life experiences, movies and a bunch of other things as well. I left feeling hopeful about the future and grateful